100 WC by Dara

1

Posted by rangeibhlin | Posted in Béarla, One hundred word challenge | Posted on April 5, 2017

Once two people were in Mc Donald’s. They saw a cheese burger on the floor. He went to pick it up. He fell through a wall. “NO!” said the other person.  Then he walked in to the wall. It felt like an apple. Oh yes the two people are brothers. They were in burger land. There was a giant burger. They battled and battled. They won but they got eaten.

THE END

Comments (1)

Hi Dara
Redbridge class enjoyed reading your writing. They liked the fact it was set in MacDonalds (we all love burgers and chips!) and that you have correctly punctuated your speech.
To make it even better try to extend your sentence range and make them longer.
Miss T and Redbridge
Hampshire, England
Kiki’s writing is here; https://redbridgewriting.wordpress.com/2017/04/05/what-is-this-place-by-kiki/

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